


Tu Vuoi Fa L'Americano

by idkspookystuff



Category: Glee
Genre: Bad Italian, Bi!Blaine, But always bi!Blaine, Fluff without Plot, I didn't mention it, M/M, Making Out, Multi, Polyamory, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22550044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: of sectionals, butchered italian, kurt, blaine & sebastian's pointed glares.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	Tu Vuoi Fa L'Americano

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lokithegodofsass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokithegodofsass/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Tu Vuoi Fa L'Americano](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891879) by [lokithegodofsass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokithegodofsass/pseuds/lokithegodofsass). 



> shoutout to [josie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokithegodofsass/pseuds/lokithegodofsass), who wrote this fic a million years ago. You can read her original work [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891879) but idk i think mine is better? 
> 
> also shoutout to [lallagogo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lallagogo/pseuds/Lallagogo). you 100% do not remember this but you roasted josie's italian in 2015 and i used your roast to make my italian better.
> 
> y un saludito a toda la gente que habla espanol y lee mis obras. tal vez uno dia voy a escribir una historia en una lengua realmente hablo. ya veremos :).
> 
> follow me [on tumblr](http://gorgeousdan.tumblr.com) if you're into people who never post.
> 
> have a great day.
> 
> \- [seb](http://gorgeousdan.tumblr.com)

Blaine, weirdly enough, is reminded of one of Cooper’s masterclasses in constructive criticism as the final note of _ Amor Vittorioso _ rings out through the auditorium. “Well?” Rachel calls to he and Mr. Shue, who are sitting side by side in the first row of the otherwise empty theatre. 

_ “Number one,” Cooper had once explained as he gestured to a whiteboard set up in their living room for precisely no one but Blaine.  _ _  
_ _ “Constructive criticism has to be nice. You can’t say something sucked, even if it did. You have to say something like-” _

“That’s great!” Mr. Shue speaks on his behalf. He jumps onto the stage with a type of enthusiasm that seems unlikely and turns his back to Blaine, who can now only see part of his gestures. “I have to admit, you guys, I had some doubts about this song when Kurt-” a gesture to Blaine’s boyfriend, today in a faux fur coat and a pair of bright purple high waisted jeans, who curtsies, “-suggested this song, I was like,  _ mh, I don’t know _ . But you guys just-” Mr. Shue brings his hands up to his head in a mock explosion, “-blew my mind! I think we have our piece for sectionals!” 

Everyone cheers and joins Mr. Shue in a group hug full of screaming and riffing and jumping. Everyone but Kurt, who looks expectantly to where Blaine remains sitting in shell-shocked silence. “Blaine?”

See, the thing is, the New Directions, in Blaine’s humble opinion, has never hit a sour note. Their Italian pronunciation on the other hand.

Kurt looks like a wounded puppy the longer Blaine refuses to reply.  _ “Lesson number two,” Coop said. “You never wanna hurt an artist’s feelings. It’ll come back to haunt you” _

Blaine stands on jello legs. “Sectionals, here we come.”

-

“I’m telling you, Bas,” Blaine says as he swings his legs against the end of the stage. Sebastian, who had texted Blaine a mere fifteen minutes ago  _ ‘skipped school, sneak me in,’  _ now sits across from Blaine, in the front row. He leans forward enough to tap Blaine’s foot with his own. “You should have heard _ Amor Vittorioso. _ It was-”

Kurt’s voice cuts him off. “It was brilliant?” He adjusts the neck of his sweater and plops next to Bas, who rolls his eyes but wraps an arm around Kurt’s shoulder nonetheless.

“Don’t you have class?” Blaine asks. 

Kurt shrugs. “French,” he answers. “I’m skipping.” 

Bas scoffs as Blaine replies, “me too, actually.”

“ _ Merde _ ,” Sebastian, the native Frenchman amongst their group, mutters under his breath. Blaine giggles at what once Sebastian had described as a ‘ _ catch-all French swear _ .’

Now it’s Kurt’s time to scoff. “Don’t act all high and mighty, Bas. You skipped an entire day.”

“Yeah, but the difference is I’m smart,” Bas replies with a smirk, which results in a light-hearted slapping war between him and Kurt.

“Boys, play nice,” Blaine says after a couple of seconds of fighting that’s clearly going nowhere fast. Sebastian rolls his eyes but stops, tucking Kurt back into his side.

“So, seriously,” Kurt looks back up at Blaine. “What’d you think of the piece I picked out?”

Blaine looks down at his feet and says, “it was perfect,” at the same time Bas, ever the honest member of their relationship, if anything, says, “Blaine hated it.”

“You hated it?” Kurt asks. Blaine shoots a look at Sebastian, who just shrugs as if to say, ‘ _ your problem _ ’.

“No,” Blaine says with another pointed look to Sebastian. “The singing was beautiful.” He anxiously pulls at the frayed ends of his bowtie as Kurt gives him a pleading look. “It was the Italian.”

In a weird twist of fate Kurt actually barks out a laugh. “The  _ Italian _ ?” he asks incredulously. He scoffs when Blaine nods. “So you’re an Italian expert now?”

“ _ Si, in realtá _ ,” Blaine answers, which gets a reaction out of Bas for once, who raises an eyebrow. Kurt just looks confused, so Blaine goes on. “ _ Parlo fluentemente l'italiano _ .”

Bas, who has previously claimed to know every European language, replies, “bitch, since when?”

Blaine laughs. “My dad,” a customary scoff from Kurt and Sebastian, who react the same way whenever Blaine brings up his less-than-stellar parents, “read somewhere that bilingual children are smarter so they flew Nonna in from Italy to teach Cooper and me.” 

Kurt hums under his breath. He leans forward to bump his leg against Blaine’s. It occurs to Blaine, not for the first time, that his boys are fairly similar. “Why’d you stop?” he asks.

Blaine shrugs. “I don’t know.” Kurt holds an arm out to Blaine, who jumps off-stage to snuggle between his boys in the awkward space between theater seats. “Non lo so.”

“It’s hot,” Kurt whispers, to which Bas rolls his eyes. Kurt traces a path down Blaine’s jawline and both Blaine and Sebastian watch. “You should take the lead on the non-English piece,” he mutters.

Blaine’s throat feels tight under the intensity of Kurt’s gaze. “I believe your brother may object.”

“Screw Finn,” Sebastian mutters as Kurt closes the gap between himself and Blaine and pulls him into a hot kiss. Kurt’s hands feel like electricity on his skin, made hotter by Sebastian’s approving gaze on the two of them. Bas’ hand comes up to Blaine’s thigh, squeezes, a reminder of his presence, as if Blaine could forget.

Suddenly, the door opens and closes, causing Kurt and Blaine to jump apart. Sebastian, who could probably look calm if he got caught fucking in a church, looks unphased, although he does rub at his side, where Blaine had accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. “What are you guys doing here?” Finn asks.

Kurt intertwines his fingers with Blaine’s. “Blaine had an idea for a piece at Sectionals,” Kurt answers his brother. He squeezes Blaine’s hand in reassurance. “Instead of  _ Amor Vittorioso _ -”

“Let me guess.” Finn cuts Kurt off with the kind of practiced ease of Blaine’s own older brother, and takes a few easy steps towards the trio. Blaine’s suddenly reminded of the fact that not only is Finn a football player, but that he’s gigantic and could squash Blaine easily. “Blaine wants to sing the lead while we all sway and whistle behind him.” He gestures absently to Sebastian. “And probably Sebastian will be there too, for some reason.”

Sebastian moves to stand, the only one of them who probably has a decent chance at taking on Finn, with toned lacrosse muscles, but Blaine curls a hand around his arm to stop him. “I got this,” he mutters to Sebastian, who, to his credit, backs down, but not without one last glare at Finn.

“ _ Amor Vittorioso _ is great!” Blaine says as he stands before Finn. Finn gives him an unconvinced look and Blaine says, “no, really! Your voice was beautiful on it. “Ma il tuo Italiano era pessimo.”

Finn’s eyes narrow in confusion as Kurt giggles in the background. “What?”

“Blaine’s fluent in Italian,” Kurt explains.

“Of course he is.” Finn looks between the three of them, as if deciding what to say next. Perhaps it’s Sebastian’s pointed glare that gets him to say, “we’ll talk to Mr. Shue about it.”

With that, he turns and walks out of the theater, calling, “you’re gonna be late for glee!” over his shoulder before the heavy thud of the door falls behind him. Blaine turns to Kurt, and the two of them giggle in synch as Sebastian rolls his eyes. 

-

So Blaine should probably feel guilty for performing what Rachel called, “a blatant display of heterophobia alive and well in today’s society” and what Santana called “a Blaine Warbler One Man Show”, but he finds he can’t really be bothered as Sebastian pins him against a wall after the New Direction’s performance, yanks his chin up by his tie, and growls, “the Warblers are going to annihilate you.” 

Kurt slides behind him and glabs Blaine’s hips with the trained ease of someone in a trio of teenage boys who make out whenever possible. “Wanna bet?”

Sebastian considers his offer with a tilt of his head, which inspires Blaine to add, “winner marks up the loser?”

Blaine should probably also feel guilty for the selfie Sebastian sends the group chat on Monday (perfectly coiffed hair, pressed blazer, looking bored out of his mind in math class with a tell-tale Dalton academy scarf hanging awkwardly around his neck), but he doesn’t.

It’s a bit of friendly competition, that’s all.

**Author's Note:**

> boop boop hope you enjoyed drink water.
> 
> comments make the world go 'round.
> 
> :)
> 
> \- [seb](http://gorgeousdan.tumblr.com)


End file.
